Going Back

This morning, I preached for church anniversary back at the main church I served during my first appointment in the ministry. It’s frightening to think I began there fifteen years ago. I ought to know what I’m doing by now! But maybe it’s good to feel that you don’t know what you’re doing.

Preaching as a visitor is so different from regular preaching in the church(es) you are serving at present. My wife commented on the way home that my whole style and demeanour were different. Returning as a visitor, I enjoyed seeing old friends and was delighted to see several faces who were new to me.

But it was different when I was their minister for five years. Then, I had to participate in the struggles and battles of that church. My preaching in that atmosphere didn’t have the liberty it seemed to have today. This morning, I could return as an ‘outsider’ and say things I am saying regularly here, but without the ongoing work to transform thinking and attitudes that accompany it in leadership. When I was at that church, we had some terrible things to face. An awful problem with the children’s work consumed my first two years, and took a huge toll on me. Problems over the style of music soon followed. I stood up for what I believed, but ended up having six weeks off with stress, three years into the appointment.

Today, on the other hand, was full of laughter. There was a buzz about the place. Even the challenges ended up being set in a relaxed atmosphere as we grappled with two hymns the congregation didn’t know. Their ability to laugh together was beautiful.

It was a particular joy to see the number of children and teenagers present. That work had been decimated at the time when the crisis I mentioned two paragraphs ago really blew up. Looking at them today, it felt like all the pain of those five years was worth it. Seeds had been sown, and had grown.

Likewise, I was delighted to hear that some still remembered what I preached about five years ago, when I previously returned to take a church anniversary, and how some of that thinking has fed into their future plans.

Now I pray that the times of struggle that occur in the current appointment will one day also bear fruit.

Thank you to my old friends for a wonderful time sharing in worship, and for the lunch and all the conversations.

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